Was it something I did ?

Last night did not start well. I got stuck at work for an extra half an hour copying a back-up to someone else's computer. Drove home and had a delightful (note sarcasm here) phone call with Varen who had been in a foul mood for most of the day. I guess that's what happens when you spend all day desperately trying to find something to fill your time at work and try not to feel like you have wasted an entire day in front of your computer at work when there were so many other wonderful ways to spend the day ;)

So, after deciding to visit him anyway (he promised to cook dinner), I set off on the lengthy journey across Johannesburg. Well, it's not that far by Jhb standards, but it's still a good half hour drive. And on the way I had the rather unpleasant experience of nearly aqua-planing into the back of someone. Thankfully there was no crash but the few seconds of complete lack of control and ineffective brakes left me quite shaken. This is not an experience I'd recommend.

So, no improvement on how the evening was progressing. Arrived at Varen's and was grateful for the long hug from him. The evening was starting to look up. He had made us dinner, nothing fancy, just pasta. It's still weird figuring out the different ways we do things or like things in the kitchen ... not that I spend much time there ;) And we shared a bottle of wine ... it had been the sort of day/evening that called for it. We spent the rest of the evening watching a dodgy, definitely should've been made for video, dvd called RV with Robin Williams.

So this morning I innocently came in to work to discover our book club has practically been disbanded ! We had 2 people leave at the end of last year and 2 more this morning. One of whom I was completely expecting. Although admittedly, I do believe the excuses of the other 3 girls.

I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that our book club was mostly made up of me & Bean's friend's girlfriends who were all trying to be friends. And well, since the break-up I was expecting a shift in attitude. I guess it's because sometimes you find yourself in situations where you regularly spend time with people (because your "others" are mates) but really, without that connection you would never ordinarily find yourself friends with the person. Sometimes, when you're really lucky these people that you're forced to spend time with become true friends. Those occasions are rare and should be appreciated. Thanks Band!

Anyway, so now there is no reason to fake a friendship or any sort of interest in each other's lives for the sake of the boys and the weekend outings we all used to find ourselves at. So really, why would they continue the farce and stick around for book club?

I sort of hoped it wouldn't come to this and I know that if any one of them had been thru a similar thing I hope I would've been friends with them just the same. Or as much as possible, since even when I was with Bean we weren't the closest bunch of girls. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. It just leaves me feeling bad about things.

But, things are improving. Although I'm still expecting one more book-club resignation (another girlf of one of the boys who I doubt will stick around either, but I hope I'm wrong) we will have 2 new recruits joining at the end of this month and I'm looking forward to it :)