Numb

Today I'm numb. I'm numb and trying not to burst into tears every time someone speaks to me. It's hard trying to nod every time someone says "Happy New Year" or provide the expected "Fine" when someone says "How are you?". 2009 sucks so far and I'm not fine. Henna died just before 10pm last night. Which after yesterday we were pretty much expecting. Doesn't make it hurt any less!

They're going to do an autopsy on her, dunno how long it'll take to get results, but Coal will be on more of the de-worming Panacur as a preventative for the next few days. I brought him with me to work today because I just can't face going home and finding him in the state Henna was. It seems to afflict them so fast, Henna & Bell have both died within 24 hours of being their perfectly normal selves. At least now, if anything weird happens with Coal he's right here and I'll notice it and can rush him to the vet.

This has made me realise why I like blogging so much tho ... and my Facebook status and Twitter. I am exhausted and emotionally drained from having to tell the whole week's story ending with why I have a rabbit in a hutch next to my desk about 4 times already this morning. With blogging, FB statuses and Twitter, people just know. They don't have to ask me, I don't have to go thru the ordeal of telling the story again. And people can provide the necessary and much appreciated sympathy and empathy. I like it better that way. And needless to say I've opted out of the first Book Club of 2009 this evening. I just can't face people right now. All I want is to be at home, with Varen and Coal and make sure he's okay, all the time. I didn't sleep much last night. Perhaps a little paranoid but I did get up and check on Coal around 3am. Thank goodness he's still perfectly fine. But I'm finding it hard to stay positive and hopeful.