I'm okay

I spent Monday night at SCM Dinner. The mood was definitely lighter than Saturday. Tuesday was nothing special. And yesterday I took the day off to go to my friend's funeral.

Thanks to everyone who twitter messaged and emailed me to make sure I was okay. I really appreciate it. And I am okay. I am still sad, more so watching the heart-break of his Mom, girlfriend and close friends than for myself. We went to the funeral at the Russian Church in Midrand and it's the first time I've seen a funeral where there wasn't enough space for everyone inside (admittedly it wasn't a very big church, but there really were that many people who turned up to show their respects). In some ways it made it easier, we couldn't hear what was being said. But I assure you the moment they brought out the coffin and I knew my friend was inside it, I felt the reality of it. And seeing his mom's pure raw grief on leaving the church and most especially beside the grave as she said her final goodbyes was one of the most heart-breaking things I've seen.

The only way I can describe it was like a movie scene. This little old Eastern European woman collapsing on her son's grave crying out in Russian. Wailing. Her husband and eldest son having to hold her just to keep her standing. Watching his girlfriends pain as everyone left the grave site, as she cried out that he was going to be all on his own after we'd left and gone to the wake. She didn't want to leave him on his own ...

It was a very sad day.

I invited CollegeInstructor over for dinner yesterday evening to ensure I wasn't alone and would have something to keep me busy. I made some very nice Prawn in Coconut Sauce from my new cook book. He brought malva pudding for dessert and we watched a truly rubbish movie, Red Eye. It was just the sort of evening I needed.