Just Thoughts

I seem to have lost my blogging mojo ... it's not that I have nothing to say, I do. It's more like I have a lot of unformed thoughts in my head at the moment. Which I want to say, but since they're not yet concrete, it's hard to put them down. (I bet this makes little to no sense to someone who is not a blogger).

And there hasn't been much day-to-day stuff to write about either. SCM turned into Bitchin' Kitchen Tuesday and other than that I haven't really done much yet this week.

And work is chaos. Not exactly in a bad way, I seem to have stabilised when it comes to work these days. Although we have been dealing with some annoying technical issues.

So what is swirling? I am thinking about relationships. I guess I'm facing the truth that at 31 (and a half) I have no idea what it takes to get it right. And I don't know how to separate the societal norms from what I actually want for myself. I am beginning to think that being an independent and self-reliant woman in her 30s, while it is great for me as an individual, is not a very good formula for long-term relationships.

Let me explain. I am used to doing things for myself. At this point in my life I rely on me. And I am skeptical about a relationship working out ... so I have a bunch of mental back-ups plans. I am reminded of a conversation I had with someone about money in marriage. The thought of throwing everything I have in with someone else and letting it all mix and be "ours", to allow them to do whatever stupid thing they want with what's "mine" terrifies me. I like the idea of each keeping separate accounts and having a single joint one (not really knowing the practicalities at this stage, please remember this is all just theory). And I guess that is probably the perfect explanation of what may be both right (financially and security-wise if things crash and burn down the line) and wrong (because we're always holding back and never fully combined with someone else, does that make it easier to walk away?) with the mindset that comes with not yet being married by 30. What happens when both people are like that, can it ever really work out?

See, only a half-formed thought with no solution in sight. I am just trying to muddle thru. I guess as many things that are going on and going right in my life, I still wonder when the next part starts ... it's awesome to be achieving these things (buying my own home!), and although it is an amazing thing to be doing it on my own (if anyone has done *any* house hunting lately, you will know how hard it is to buy if not part of a couple or without two incomes), I am still kinda sad cause I'm not sharing it with someone, I'm moving forward on my own, taking these big life steps alone. I can't really explain that conflict within me, but it's still there.

Happy Again

Ah, a rare thing, a still blissful post-wonderful-weekend Monday mood :) I was nervous that this weekend was going to be too much like the last, moods out-of-sync and small niggly annoyances taking over (based on my Thursday and Friday moods).

But,  instead, somehow I magically got over myself and had a wonderful weekend :) On Friday, the Trucker & I hadn't seen each other in a while and he'd planned a dinner out (apparently), but couldn't get a booking - I kinda love that he wouldn't even tell me where and is saving it for another time. I'm luckier than I realise sometimes, you know, those times when I'm caught up in my own tiny insecurities :(

But we'd both had a long week and a pretty miserable day. So we got some take-out and watched the Top Gear Botswana Special (we've been meaning to watching it again since our trip - yes, blog posts are slowly coming together, give me another week or two, it's harder when I have to write them from scratch instead of just copying them out of my book!). It was amazing to re-watch after having just been there! Haha.

And then we finally got round to watching Pirates of the Caribbean 4. On the plus side, I wasn't expecting anything spectacular. And at the end it was all a little Ho-Hum. But I had to watch it (that's the problem with these sequels, although I have not yet got round to seeing the last Harry Potter - shock horror).

On Saturday morning we grabbed a quick breakfast and then I was off home to sort out Rex's medication. Poor boy was supposed to be all done with the anti-biotics on Friday, but he's still not better. And I ran out of anti-biotics on Sunday and the nearby 24hr vet would not give me a refill with out a prescription :P So hopefully that hasn't been too detrimental. Will have to get the script and get him some more this afternoon. Sigh, it is exhausting and I know he preferred not having it ... I just wish he'd get better!

And The Trucker headed off to drive to Kroonstad and back on the most beautiful day we've had in a while! (work). So I lazed around at home for a while and then went to visit @louisabouwer for a catch-up. Can not believe how much Nicola has grown since I last saw her. I don't mean physically, more just talking and interacting and off on her own mission. She truly is an adorable child!

And then it was back home where The Trucker picked me up and we headed off to Monte for Gourmet Garage (I did not have my Peanut Butter Burger, I know, can you believe ?!?!) and a movie. We watched Crazy, Stupid, Love. I didn't have high expectations, really I was just picking something I thought most people already would've seen for a Saturday night movie. But I loved it. Seriously, it was thoroughly enjoyable, exactly what I needed.

On Sunday morning, The Trucker headed off at 9am to play cricket. I lazed in bed a while, cleaned the bunny hutch and then went to meet him. I got to watch his team bat (which is way better than watching them field, yawn), while I drank hot chocolate ... dunno what happened to the weather after the gorgeous summery Saturday! And after that, we headed off to Market on Main (I hadn't been yet but have heard rave reviews!). I was a little nervous. I don't think markets are quite The Trucker's sort of thing - haha. But after a few initial sarky comments, he got into it and I think really enjoyed it - might've been the amazing variety of food :)

I loved it and will definitely be taking my mom next time she is up :) We ate gourmet hot-dogs, tasted hummus, drank delish mint-lime cordials, bought biltong, brownies and sugar roasted cashews. The Trucker even had some Ethiopian coffee, which he was quite thrilled about. We'll definitely be going back for some Sunday grazing again!

And then it was back home for a lazy afternoon of eating our purchases and reading the paper. And then we made some delish mac 'n cheese for dinner (omg it was soo good!) and watched some series. It was a perfect Sunday <3

Ball of Fun

Right, so I know I have hardly blogged at all this week. I was going to yesterday but then arrived at work to no internet. Same has happened this morning so am catching you all up in a text file to be posted when possible.

This week. It's not been an up week, I won't lie. I've been pretty down the last 2 days. I guess that happens after the surreal highs of last week.

On Monday I skipped SCM and The Trucker came over and cooked dinner (I was sposed to go to dinner at his house but plans changed). On Tuesday I had a catch-up sushi dinner with @saulkza, we haven't seen each other or chatted in *ages* it was very good seeing him again :) On Wednesday I had dinner at Mexican Fresh with @Kath_Forrest. Hmmm, I was keen at the prospect of finding another new Mexican restaurant and closer than Melville, but it was decidedly average and I'd rather go to Cafe Mexicho instead. Sigh, Mexican restaurants never provide enough in the way of guacamole for me!

Anyway, and then last night I stayed home and went to bed early. Was in a hibernating mood and not feeling 100% and The Trucker was working (which seems like it'll be a theme for the next month, apparently).

I have stuff going on in my head, doubt and worries ... there is some excitement: the house-buying is in full swing, but in that out-of-my-hands stage so not really that exciting till I actually get the keys now. I am hoping it's just a mood and work has been chaotic, not given me a moment to breathe. I was hoping I'd have snapped out of it when I woke up this morning, but I didn't. I feel like it's going to be last week's weird mood all over again, and I really don't want that.

And Rex doesn't seem to be improving on the antibiotics. He is still sniffly (although I think a bit less?). Sigh, this giving him antibiotics twice a day is a really hassle and he really doesn't like it :( I dunno how people who have sickly kids manage.

So yes, I'm just generally a ball of fun at the moment :P

The Usual Weekend Stuff

I am surprisingly not really in the mood for blogging right now ... and as such, there is still no eta on the Botswana posts (hope by the time I get round to it I haven't forgotten it all! Haha, this time wasn't a keep-a-travel-diary kinda trip, you know?).

Anyhoo, on Thursday evening The Trucker and I went for a disappointing dinner, Luca's was full and we ended up at Doppio and my pasta wasn't how I usually have it and I'm not sure if I ordered it wrong or they served it wrong or what.

We also ended up going out for a late dinner on Friday night because it was supposed to be a little celebratory, my Bond got approved :) Am still waiting for FNB to come back (with a hopefully lower rate than Standard Bank has offered, but either way I still have an approved bond so all is a-go on the house - whoop whoop!). But he'd had a long day and we headed out late with no where specific in mind and drove and attempted many places that were full before giving up almost entirely. We actually ended up having quite a delish meal at Santorini in Hyde Park. Nothing better than sharing mezze ;)

But we were both in weird moods and Saturday was not a great day. But I think by the end of it we'd sorted everything out and everyone felt better about things :) We had breakfast on Saturday morning at the Food Lovers Market in The Wedge. I wouldn't really recommend it although my Bacon & Brie croissant was quite tasty.

On Saturday evening he headed off to his ex-girlf's dad's 60th birthday. Weird, right? Well anyway, whatever. I'm over it. I invited @Rubyletters and Nadgia over for dinner to keep me company and it was a great evening :) I'm sure I had far more fun than I would've had I tagged along with him.

On Sunday we went for breakfast at Cafe Rossini and then I headed off to a Hot Dog Half-Birthday at @clairam's while he played cricket.

All in all a pretty up&down weekend. As is to be expected after such a roller-coaster week :)

Oh, and I had to take Rexy to the vet on Friday afternoon. I'd noticed white mucous on his nose and he was sneezing since Wednesday. After a quick browse online I terrified myself. So off we went. Thankfully I phoned my regular vet only to find out he was on leave so found another exotics specialist in Craighall Park. The boy is now on antibiotics twice a day (and not very impressed about it at all!). I'm also keeping him inside with a humidifier at night. He still hasn't unblocked yet tho :(

Madame Tussaud by Michelle Moran

When Marie moves from her family's waxwork museum into the palace of Versailles, her whole life is set to change...When Marie Tussaud learns the exciting news the royal family will be visiting her famed wax museum, the Salon de Cire, she never dreams that the king's sister will request her presence at Versailles: as a royal tutor in wax sculpting. As Marie familiarizes herself with Princess Elisabeth and begins to know Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI, she witnesses the glamorous life of court, a very different world from her home on the Boulevard du Temple of Paris where bread can only be had on the black market and men sell their teeth to put food on the their tables. The year is 1788 and men like Desmoulins, Marat, and Robespierre are meeting in the salons of Paris speaking against the monarchy; there's whispered talk of revolution. Spanning five years from budding revolution to the Reign of Terror, Madame Tussaud brings us into the world of an incredible heroine whose talent for wax moulding saved her life and preserved the faces of a vanished kingdom.

Love this book. Seriously. I may not know exactly how close to the truth it is, but it was a fascinating read. And I find Madame Tussaud generally fascinating anyway. Am off to Wikipedia a whole bunch of stuff now - haha. And I definitely think I'm gonna try get my hands on some of Michelle Moran's other books ... you know how I do adore Ancient Egypt :)

Keep Those Fingers Crossed

So this week has not slowed down even for a second. It has been awesome so far ... but I expect there'll be an emotional crash shortly. No one can maintain a high permanently. In the mean time tho, I'm just enjoying the rush of good feeling :)

So, on Tuesday night I introduced @WhizBangLouLou to the sushi spot in Cedar Square, to let her in on the delish secret of those strawberry, cheese and salmon rainbow rolls. Oh, so good!

And yesterday I got the call. The call from the agent. The Owner has accepted my offer!! (and I re-read this blog post from March 2010 ... so surreal, haha) He did add in an additional condition of sale tho. But hopefully it'll just end up being completely irrelevant. He had actually already sold this property but that Buyer couldn't get finance so it fell thru. So now it basically says he can continue to accept offers up until the point my bond is approved. And if he does get another offer I have 48hrs to match it or lose the deal.

As such I have already mailed off all my bond docs to the Bond Consultant. Let's hope this dude works some speedy magic and gets everything happily approved and sorted asap. They are hoping to have everything signed, sealed and on the go before the 31 August so I can give 2 months notice where I'm renting now. OMG, I might be moving to my very own home on 01 November.

I will say tho, Bond Applications scare the shit out of me. They are terrifying. And I'm more terrified right now because last time I tried to get a bond while I already had one (back in 2007), it was declined :( So yes, literally the next few days are going to have me on the edge of my seat waiting to hear and being very nervy. Sigh. As much as I 100% completely believe that this house is meant to be mine, there is a small dark corner of my brain worrying that I'm just setting myself up for a giant disappointment :( Anyhoo, for now we're keeping absolutely positive, because, how on earth could this not happen?! ;)

The other good news arrived in a surprise email from my current tenant, who's lease is up at the end of October. She asked if I had found another tenant yet because she has a friend who is keen to rent the unit and will sign a 12month lease (depending on how much I was planning on increasing the rental). How fantastic will that be? So finger's crossed for that too.

I was meant to be seeing The Trucker for dinner but he ended up driving his sister (it was her bday) to their mom's (in the Free State) for an overnight visit instead. Which turned out to be a good thing. I spent the evening getting my Bond Application docs sorted and finishing the last of what I needed for Tax 2011. An admin evening, but a much needed one :)

The Bone Yard by Jefferson Bass

Early summer brings warm weather to the Body Farm in East Tennessee, but Dr Bill Brockton's about to get more heat than he's bargained for. A former student who's now an agent with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement seeks his help in identifying a partial skull found in the woods in rural Florida. The victim appears to have been a young male who died from lethal blows to the head. While leading a search for the remaining bones, Brockton and his graduate assistant Miranda Lovelady find a series of shallow graves on the overgrown grounds of a shuttered reform school for boys. According to local lore, the school's poor, troubled students understood that one wrong move could land them in their own plot in the de facto cemetery. As Brockton and his team close in on the truth, they find skeletons in some surprisingly prominent closets...and learn that the ghosts of the past are ever present.

I really quite enjoyed this one, I think I will look into reading earlier ones in the series. Always nice to find a new author in the style of Kathy Reichs :) So, if you enjoy her, I'd definitely recommend this one.

* This book is part of the Body Farm series: Carved in Bone (2006), Flesh and Bone (2007), The Devil's Bones (2008), Bones of Betrayal (2009), The Bone Thief (2010), The Bone Yard (2011)

I Did It

Yes, I did. Last night I signed the offer to purchase ... and now we wait. For the owner's acceptance and the bond application approval (once I find all those million documents they need :P).

OMG. When did this happen? I am still riding the wave of surreal. I went from being on holiday in Botswana to putting an offer on a house in a matter of days. I guess these are the highs :) Remind me of them later, okay?

I won't lie. Those niggly thoughts before bed on Sunday night really got to me. So I did the completely rational thing, talked it thru with about everyone I saw on Monday and arranged to go see the house a third time before SCM last night.

When I got there I was like 90% sure I was going to sign. But I just needed that peace of mind. I took my measuring tape along and found that I should be just fine fitting in all my furniture. But I'm not going to worry about it again till it's empty and mine ... and then I can decide what works and what doesn't.

And I signed. (After I got it added to the OTP that it is on condition of getting an approval letter from the Body Corporate for the bunnies ... cause if they can't come with that is really a not negotiable, but I've been pretty much assured that's a mere formality).

And I had a lovely evening at SCM. I was positively gushing. I can't believe in mere months (01Nov if all goes according to plan) I might be living in my very own home, for the first time in my life!

I did have some more niggly thoughts when I woke up this morning (money ones this time), but by the time I was driving to work I was feeling light and bright and happy and excited again. OMG. Life really is surprising sometimes :)

Hahaha. And my funniest thought thru all this? I wondered if this certainty about the fact that this is my house and my sheer absolute conviction that this is right and what will happen (regardless that I have yet to receive approval or bond yet even) is what people who tell you "they just knew" felt about the person they decided to marry? Me, I think it's much easier to just know with a house ;)

So, I Might Buy a House

Yawn. I am *so* not ready to be getting back to real life ... I suspect it has to do with usually going on holiday for 3 weeks at a time. After a week, I'm just getting into it :) Yet here I am, back at work, already.

Botswana was pretty fab. Will be telling you all about it over the next few days (once I get round to downloading the photos and what not). I'll be honest and say there's a few other things kinda occupying my headspace that need urgent attention before I can get round to that.

So, The Trucker & I got back from our trip on Saturday afternoon. I had a pretty lazy afternoon, unpacking, doing washing, some much needed grocery shopping and sitting around with The Bundles :) I met up with him again later for dinner at Col'Cacchio with his friend @Toxic_Mouse.

In the morning he was off to a business catch-up breakfast (omg, his phone was off for an entire week ... it was bliss :) haha!). And I headed home to clean the bunny hutch and then went off house hunting.

Now the house hunting thing has really been quite half-hearted. Since I was *supposed* to be moving back to Cape Town ... well, ahem. So I really was just seeing what was out there and mostly just turned out to be completely depressing myself by finding nothing that met all my requirements :(

So, The Trucker said, change your requirements. Easier said than done. I've lived in "The Highway Circle" my whole life (in Joburg) and that was not one I was easily going to switch on. But I decided to pretend I wasn't actually buying for me to live in this weekend, since it was so much easier last year when I bought that investment property. So I opened up my search just a smidge to marginally outside the highway at two very particular points. And what do you know, I fell in love.

I saw plenty of houses yesterday, probably easily 6 or 7. But this one I went to twice. I showed it to The Trucker and @WhizBangLouLou. I have the offer to purchase papers on my desk next to me. I hardly slept last night. I adore the house. But I don't know that my furniture will actually fit. But seriously, it's the first place I've walked into and thought I could be "home" in Joburg. Sigh. How do you decide? I want the house, I want my furniture ... I want a home!

This could turn out to be a very interesting day :)

No more sleeps!

Yip, I'm headed in the direction of Botswana at midday today :) Yay. It has been a pretty busy week tho. On Wednesday evening I had some girl-friends over for dinner and a catch-up ... I attempted my Nam-Jim Chicken as wraps (with those weird rice-paper wraps). I won't say it was as successful as the meal as a whole, but it was an interesting alternative. Perhaps next time I should try it with more adventurous eaters ...

And then yesterday The Trucker and I did the last of our shopping for Botswana and packed the Pajero. I am an expert tetris packer of food. I am only concerned about how it'll all fit together once we start actually eating it :) It is packed tight with no space to move around currently. Perfect!

We got take-out Chinese for dinner last night (his choice, not mine ... I feel the need to point this out after @louisabouwer commented that I'm eating chinese quite often after my return - haha). I can't remember the name of the place, it was pretty non-descript, but it was the most delish Chinese food I've had since my return. I had their Peking Sauce Beef (at the recommendation of the guy taking our order ... my head was too cloudy to make any decisions myself!). Oh yes, did I mention I'm sick :P Urgh. How annoying is that right before we go away. But I have been living on med-lemons and cal-c-vitas and today I'm feeling closer to better :) (My nose may still be running, but I can mostly breathe all the time again - win! Haha)

Righto folks, see you in 10 days :)

Eating Out

So I am counting down the (work) days till Botswana ... 2.5! Yay. And we are just about all ready to go. The Bank has some Pula waiting for collection, I have some perishables to buy tomorrow and then we'll be packing the 4x4 all set to leave on Friday afternoon :) So looking forward to it!

In the meantime tho, I've been keeping busy as usual. On Monday at lunch we tried out a new restaurant, Lucky Moo. I really liked it :) It's a bit much food for me for lunch, but it comes in those containers we're used to only seeing Chinese food in movies in - so cute! I had their Kung Pao Chicken with Noodles. So yummy, although nothing like the Kung Pao Chicken I had while in China (which I really liked too).

On Monday evening it was SCM as normal. And then last night The Trucker came over and we went out for dinner. I'm keeping a list of "date restaurants" for us, so if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them :) In the meantime tho, I think there'll just be a lot of re-trying some of my old favs that I haven't been to in a while. Which is what we did last night. He'd never been to The Attic, but the boy adores his dessert, so I had to take him there to try their hot chocolate pudding :) I don't think I've been there since Nov / early Dec last year!

Dinner was lovely, although the restaurant was a little smokey (not from cigarettes or the fire place, so not really sure why). We started with the duck spring rolls to share (so yum!). He had the Sirloin and I had the chicken for mains. I dunno, I wasn't blown away by mine, and I did feel very limited by choice (which I always do there since just about everything is red meat or contains mushrooms or olives). But then we had dessert and it was divine!

All in all a good evening :)

Dark Prophecy by Anthony E. Zuiker

Steve Dark is a man on a mission. He is ready to embrace his destiny, and has nothing to lose . . . Steve Dark was once a lost soul, torn between his family and his one-of-a-kind talent for hunting down serial killers especially those so-called Level 26 killers whose depravity exceeds law enforcements official scale of evil. In his reluctant pursuit of justice Dark once crossed the ultimate line, a line that might cause a lesser man to lose himself completely. Not Dark. When the world took everything from him, when it destroyed the very thing Dark once lived for, it sparked a transformation that, three years later, is only just complete. Dark is now a man on a mission. A mission unbound by authorities. A mission that, at long last, allows him to embrace his destiny. Dark is finally ready ready to take justice to the next level.

I definitely preferred the first book, but this is definitely a series I'll keep reading. This one was just a little too disconnected for me, I wasn't afraid or remotely involved in the bad guys (if that makes sense), they weren't scary and certainly didn't seem to warrant "Level 26" status. Still, I'd recommend the series as a whole and look forward to the next one :)

* This book is part of the Level 26 series: Dark Origins (2009), Dark Prophecy (2010)

Whirlwind Weekend

Shoo, what a whirlwind weekend. Although it did, as always now, include an afternoon nap. It seems to be a required part of The Trucker's weekends ;) Haha. I'm not much of a nap person, it feels like a waste of time ...

Anyway, on Friday afternoon at about 12h30 our entire team (along with 2 other teams) left work and headed off on an overnight team-building / knowledge sharing event. We headed out to River Place. As weird as my mood has been regarding work lately, I think it was a great idea and although I was skeptical, we had a lot of fun. With plenty of fun games interspersed with the more serious. I had organised a game of Personal Bingo which we played on arrival (I thought it'd last a lot longer, but people really got stuck right in and it was over in less than half an hour!). We watched a few presentations before dinner and after dinner we had a crazy geeky pub-quiz type game. And then there was just a lot of hanging out, drinking, smoking hubbly and playing Rock Band (not me, cause I think it's just the most boring game of tetris ever!). I went to bed about midnight. And the stories that came out the next morning about the boys' drunken antics were quite entertaining.

Breakfast was good. Pity the shower in my room was so disappointing! (Not what I'd expected from such a nice place, but I survived - Am considering it practice for my upcoming trip to Botswana ;) Haha). After breakfast we split up into teams for a Geek Seek game (a treasure hunt across the grounds of River Place). Good fun ... although it is tricky having too many Alpha personalities on a team, and some people are just way too competitive about things. Haha. But still, good fun. And then it was time for lunch. Disappointing that it was pretty much almost exactly the same menu as dinner. But the food was good. Just *alot* ! And then there were a few more presentations, a prize giving and then it was home time.

I headed home and spent some time with The Bundles before heading off to The Trucker's. We had a lazy evening on the couch, which was exactly what I needed after being on the go and surrounded by people for the entire first half of the weekend.

On Sunday morning we tried a new spot for breakfast, Nice in Parkhurst (That link being the inspiration for our visit). Well I won't lie, I started out extremely unimpressed. There is almost no signage and it takes over the pavements outside it's two shops as well as the attached Nice Bookstore. So we had no idea where to go. And then we stood around feeling completely lost, with not a single waiter or waitress even speaking to us. Eventually I stopped one and was told I had to speak to a woman who was outside clearing tables (who I assume is the owner/manageress). Eventually when she came in, she seated us ... but during that time other people had just arrived and taken empty tables. I would've been far more annoyed if there were none available by the time we got helped.

On the plus side tho, although they have a very limited menu (I think The Trucker was initially a little unimpressed!), I loved the breakfast! Their speciality seems to be their Breakfast Baskets which are delish! I had their half-and-half (one breakfast basket, one crumpet stack), to try out the two options. And I added Avo to my breakfast basket, I can highly recommend it :) The Trucker added haloumi to his breakfast baskets. My only complaints would be no iced coffee or milkshakes of any sort and I wasn't impressed by the fruit juice options. Also, I don't think their breakfasts are quite filling enough for very hungry boys ... And the service is slow, but that's not too much of a problem if you're enjoying a seat in the warm sunshine :)

After that we headed off to do a bunch of weekend admin and get a head start on the shopping for Botswana. Sheesh, I made a list and everything and we bought an excessive quantity of stuff ... barely any of which was on my list, which is mostly perishables which I'll be getting on Thursday afternoon. Still, I'm really getting excited now. We set the tent up and vacuumed all the sand out of it. Blew up the mattress and lazed on it reading the paper as well. Haha. (Doesn't sound at all like we only have 1 night in a tent, does it?).

Also popped home for a bit for a laze in the sun and some apple with the bunnies :) And then we went for an early evening walk and watched Arthur on Sunday evening before I headed home. It's not brilliant, but it's not the worst movie I've ever watched. Hell, it might've just been worth it for how much I laughed at the Magnetic Bed scene. Bwahaha.