Purge

Righto. So to be clear, I am all happy and filled with the warm fuzzies still (amazing!!) but, there are plenty of other thoughts also swirling in my head. So, a quick warning, I'm about to pour them out of my head onto this blog. I need some quiet in here - haha.

1. Job Satisfaction vs. Cash Money
 Righto, this is a tough one. Almost 4 years ago, I left The Big Corporate for a little friend-filled work environment. I always knew I'd end up working here. I knew it'd be my "settle down" company. But at the beginning of last year this little company merged with 2 others and became a big corporate too ... well, not quite, but a little.

And after a bit of a rocky path, I've settled back down here again. Not all days are perfect, obviously. But if someone had to ask, yeah, I'd probably still say I like my job and what I do every day. I love working on things people can see and use (websites). And I love problem solving and there are things and projects I work on that give me great satisfaction. There are also projects I work on and people I work with that make me want to tear my hair out. But that is not the problem. I'm still good on the Job Satisfaction front, I think. And I don't really want to leave ...

But there is this nagging voice in my head (and out loud from The Trucker), saying I should think about heading back to The Big Corporate and earning some big bucks as a contractor. It could never be a long-term plan because I really don't find the work there rewarding. But I am wondering if it might be worth considering for 12-18months ... just to make a dent in these bonds and keep up my standard of living (it has taken a knock lately what with now having a personal trainer & spending 1K a month in medication for my newly discovered Allergies & Asthma, more on that in point 2).

I'd hate to leave here and have to come back not as senior or something because I had missed out on all that time. And I would feel like I was really letting my friends here down by leaving. How on earth does one make a decision like this?

2. Health & Wellness
So, I figured a report back on both the Personal Training and Allergies & Asthma diagnoses was needed.

The Personal Trainer has been okay. I've been going 3 times a week (except for Public Holidays and when I've been away). I'm not sure how much it's helping honestly (2nd measurements next week). But apparently if I don't change my eating habits as well, it's not going to have very dramatic effects anyway. So, we'll see. I've also switched to only one session a week from May. Mostly because it's damn expensive, but also because I figure I know how everything works now and he mostly just stands around counting and deciding what machine to do next ... I'm still keeping the one session a week tho, so I'm still accountable and will still do the measurements etc.

On the Allergies & Asthma front, I went for my one-month check. Nothing has changed, in fact I got an extra script (for eye-drops and nasal spray instead of the nasules which I didn't like at all!). I noticed such a dramatic difference in the first month tho! I was off the meds for a few days before I could get the next lot and I noticed the decline (I was even yawning at gym again). Now that I'm back on them, I'm almost back to what should be normal. Not 100% tho because right now it is actually the change of season on top of everything. But even so, it is a vast improvement on what I've been living with for years! So Yay for that. Boo for the R1000 a month in medication tho ... Am looking at how Chronic works with Medical Aid. I think they'll cover the Asthma pump, but I'm not sure yet about the Allergy meds. Every little bit helps tho, I guess.

3. Too Perfect
Yeah, can you even  believe that heading? The love life has been amazing and pretty much perfect for months now. Bliss. It's a strange state to get used to. I'm no longer waiting for 'the other shoe to drop', but now I occasionally wonder if it's real. The last time I thought things were going perfectly, it was pretty much all a lie just to keep me happy because that made life easier for him, if I was happy and naive and not asking too many questions.

But for now, it seems real. And I'm trying to believe ... because the alternative will eat me up and turn me into an emotional wreck. You can't question everything all the time. And really, how can someone prove that sort of thing, except day by day, with every sweet thoughtful and considerate thing they do (And at the moment, there are plenty!). Awe <3